Beyond the Gender Binary

Beyond the Gender Binary by Alok Vaid-Menon
Published by Penguin on June 2, 2020
Genres: Biography & Autobiography, LGBTQ, Social Activists, Transgender
Pages: 64
Format: Paperback
five-stars

Beyond the Gender Binary, by Alok Vaid-Menon, is an essential and informative book that can easily be read in one sitting. The 64-page book is published by the Pocket Change Collection, which puts out concise books that propose solutions to create needed change in our communities. Alok Vaid-Menon is a gender non-conforming writer who eloquently explains how our society lives under a fabricated gender binary that is harmful to gender non-conforming people.

The first half of the book covers Alok Vaid-Menon’s experiences with accepting their gender non-conforming identity. The second half of the story features rebuttals to common dismissals and arguments used by people who refuse to acknowledge gender non-conforming people. Vaid-Menon’s writing is so clear and logical, and their wording is perfection! They poke holes in the “gender binary” fallacy that our society constructs and upholds. I want to include some of my favorite quotes. There are quotable lines from every page in this book, so selecting my favorites was challenging.

“How are you supposed to be believed about the harm you experience when people don’t even believe that you exist?” (p. 17)

“I learned about gender through shame. In so many ways they became inseparable for me.” (p. 19)

These two quotes make me so sad.

“I remember the first day I wore a dress in public. I was twenty years old, but I had never felt more giddy and carefree when I walked out of my front door. I stopped thinking about my body and focused on the things around me. It felt like a reunification of my mind, my body, and my spirit—for the first time in a long time, I was able to be completely present with myself and the world. I had so much more energy and motivation. There was a quiet there, a sense of peace in my body, which had for so long been full of anxiety.” (p. 25)

I haven’t had the experience of feeling or being gender non-conforming. But this quote is the closest I’ve gotten to understand how damaging the gender binary is to trans or gender non-conforming people.

“That’s the thing about being an LGBTQIA+ kid—you often don’t have the luxury to come into yourself on your own terms because other people have made up their minds for you.” (p. 23)

I relate to this. Growing up as a boy I learned what things I was supposed to like.  Any interests that could be labelled as gay or feminine I had to hide or suppress. Even now in my late 20’s I am learning to be comfortable enjoying the music, books, and movies that I actually enjoy.

“We divide billions of people into one of two categories and tell them that this is the way things are. We emphasize and exaggerate the differences between these categories and minimize the differences that exist within them. We forget that there is more variety within the categories of women and men than between them. We forget the ways in which we once deviated from the norm. We forget that humans have never perfectly aligned with these norms.” (p. 31)

This quote really opened my eyes to how absurd the gender binary is.

“Using gender neutral language isn’t about being politically correct, it’s just being correct.” (p. 47)

Yes! I wish more people understood this.

“They used to define sex as what was reflected on an individual’s birth certificate. Once that was changeable, they made the definition our genitalia. Once we could change those, the definition switched to chromosomes. Now that there is increasing evidence that chromosomes do not always necessarily align with sex, they are suggesting genetic testing. This is not about science—this is about targeted prejudice.” (p. 51)

We’re now in a time where high school athletes will have to undergo genetic testing to define their sex. We are living in a dystopian novel.

This book should be read by everyone. It is a great gift for anyone with an open mind or willing to learn about gender non-conforming people. The rebuttal section has inspired me with so many excellent counterpoints for the next time someone says something inaccurate or harmful concerning gender. Reading this book makes me hopeful for a future where a child’s toys are not selected based on gender, pronouns are used correctly, and gender reveal parties don’t exist.

five-stars

Lapvona

Lapvona by Ottessa Moshfegh
Published by Penguin on June 21, 2022
Genres: Fantasy, Fiction, Historical, Horror, Literary, Magical Realism
Pages: 320
three-half-stars

Lapvona by Ottessa Moshfegh is disturbing and wild. The dark and twisted events in Moshfegh’s latest work were right up my alley. The novel gave me A24 horror movie vibes, specifically Robert Eggers’ The Witch. Nearly every character in Lapvona is unlikeable. I did not leave the story feeling good about humanity. The novel is a wonderful hodgepodge of genres: horror, magical realism, fantasy, and historical fiction.

Lapvona takes place in a medieval village where life is extremely rough. Marek is the motherless son of Jude, a shepherd. Jude is abusive to Marek and has an intense attachment to his sheep. In the forest lives a witchy, blind woman named Ina (my favorite character), who has nursed many of the village’s children, including Marek. The lord of the village, Villiam, is deranged and supported by the problematic village priest, Father Barnabas. Marek goes to live in Villiam’s wealthy home after an unexpected tragedy. Meanwhile the villagers suffer from the effects of a harsh drought.

I realize the above synopsis is vague, but I do not want to spoil all the shocking WTF moments in the story. This book is not for everyone, but fans of horror will be pleased. Nothing is off limits in this highly irreverent book. I really enjoyed Moshfegh’s writing. Her word choice is clear and direct without superfluous phrases, making Lapvona a fast read. I struggled to find significant themes or the point of this novel. But I do think the story works as a criticism of the United States government. I found the buffoonery of Villiam to be very reminiscent of President number 45. Villiam has no concern for the well being of his people and spends his free time doing outrageous stunts. The contrast between the those living in Villiam’s manor and the starving villagers reminded me of the disconnect between the US government and the people it serves. Ina is an amazing character. Her arc is fantastic, and I wish more of the book had been told from her perspective.

Overall, I enjoyed the shocking moments of Lapvona and its overall vibe. I wish the book was more focused or had clearer themes. I felt like much of Moshfegh’s message went over my head. Or perhaps she just wanted to write a book with loads of shock value? Nonetheless, I certainly plan on checking out more of Ottessa Moshfegh’s books soon.

three-half-stars

The Vanishing Half

The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett
Published by Penguin on February 1, 2022
Genres: Coming of Age, Fiction, Literary, Women, African American & Black, LGBTQ
Pages: 400
five-stars

I was fortunate to begin 2022 with the wonderful The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett.  This is a beautiful multi-generational drama focusing on race, family, and identity.  Bennett is a skilled storyteller.  I was fully immersed in her prose and found myself absorbed in the story.  This is one of those rare stories that has universal appeal.

The story centers on the Vignes twins Stella and Desiree.  The twins are from Mallard, Louisiana a town where many light-skinned Black people reside.  The twins have a traumatic childhood after seeing their father get horrifically lynched by White men.  At the age of 16 the two sisters run away from their mother’s home to start new lives in New Orleans.  However, Stella soon makes a dangerous and shocking decision to leave her sister to go live as a White woman.  The book is written from multiple perspectives and takes place from the 1940s to the 1990s.  The daughters of the twins are also featured main characters.

While The Vanishing Half is arguably a slow burn the writing is so good that it reads quickly.  The major characters are well developed.  No perspectives felt weaker than the others. I really enjoyed how the story was told out of order.  In the end a complete story of the family was revealed.  There is a character that suffers from Alzheimer’s.  I found these scenes to be well written, but tough to read as they reminded me of my grandma who suffered from the same disease.

The major theme of the novel is choosing one’s identity.  Desiree and Stella who are physically identical, decide to live under different racial identities.  Desiree’s trans boyfriend, Reese, struggles feeling comfort with his body that opposes his male identity.  The difference is Reese’s gender expression is authentic while Stella’s racial expression is based on a lie.  I was deeply saddened that Stella had to deny her Blackness and family in exchange for the privilege and security of life as a White woman.  The vastly differing experiences of Desiree and Stella show that racial identity is more than just the color of one’s skin.  Unfortunately, one’s presenting racial identity results in vastly differing levels of privilege and wealth in the United States.

The Vanishing Half is worthy of becoming a modern classic. Between the gorgeous writing and complex themes of family, identity, and race there are a lot of discussions to be had surrounding the book.  And above all Brit Bennett is a skilled storyteller.


Trigger Warnings:  Alzheimer’s, Racial Violence

five-stars

Lot

Lot by Bryan Washington
Published by Penguin on March 17, 2020
Genres: African American & Black, Fiction, General, Boys & Men, Coming of Age, LGBTQ, Short Stories
Pages: 240
four-stars

Bryan Washington’s short story collection, Lot, focuses on queer characters living in Houston. Minor characters in other stories become the focus of others, creating connections across the collection. One bi-racial male, Nicolás, is the focus of many of the stories. He struggles with coming to terms with his sexuality, his absent father, his homophobic brother, and helping his mom keep her restaurant afloat. I was excited to read this collection after enjoying Washington’s novel Memorial, which I also recommend.

My favorite story was Bayou, where two friends find what they believe to be a Chupacabra. The potential Chupacabra added whimsey to the story that ended up focusing on a close male friendship. This being the only story with fantasy elements (and even a reference to Dune), of course it became my favorite. Another standout was Waugh, where a group of male sex workers sharing a home deal with their house father contracting HIV. This story reminded me of the excellent tv show Pose because of its focus on found families.  Many members of the LGBT community, less fortunate than myself, are rejected by their families because of their queer identity. Thus, they find and create their own families.   Themes present in these stories include families (biological and found), friendship, intersectionality, and the concept of home. Bryan Washington is a Houston native, and it shows in his writing. The city of Houston can be considered a main character that ties this collection together. This is an honest, depiction of Houston where many of the characters are struggling to make ends meet, especially after the damage of Hurricane Harvey in 2017. I have never visited Houston, but I feel like I have a sense of the city after reading Lot

I would recommend this short story collection to anyone. If you are more in the mood for a longer story format, I highly recommend you pick up a copy of his novel Memorial. I will definitely be reading anything Bryan Washington writes in the future.

four-stars

Dune

Dune by Frank Herbert
Published by Penguin on 1990
Genres: Coming of Age, Fiction, General, Reread, Science Fiction
Pages: 535
four-half-stars

Sandworms in space! I decided to reread Dune before the new film adaptation is released this October. Rereading is always a great test to see whether books are good or excellent. For me, an excellent reread is when I can identify new layers and themes that I did not catch the first time. Dune performed well for me on the second read. Frank Herbert does an exceptional job of cramming many themes between the pages of Dune. Politics, religion, the human impact on the environment, gender, coming-of-age, power, and fate vs. free will are all touched upon. The world building Herbert achieves within only one book is impressive. I cannot get enough of Arrakis, its sandworms and the character of Lady Jessica in particular. Please beware this review contains spoilers.

Dune begins when Emperor Shaddam IV assigns Duke Leto Altreides to rule over the planet of Arrakis. Arrakis is a desert covered planet where water is scarce and giant sandworms roam. Arrakis is important to the surrounding galaxy because it is the only planet where the spice melange can be mined. This spice is a valued resource that can expand human life and improve vitality. The planet is occupied by the native Fremen people who have mastered living in the harsh desert climate. House Altreides has an enemy, the House Harkonnen, led by the Baron Harkonnen. The Harkonnens previously had control of Arrakis. Unbeknownst to Duke Leto the Emperor and Baron Harkonnen are plotting to destroy the Altreides family after they move to Arrakis. Duke Leto’s partner, but not wife, is Lady Jessica a Bene Gesserit. The Bene Gesserit are a group of women who are trained to have powerful mental capabilities. The son of Duke Leto and Lady Jessica is Paul Altreides. Paul has been trained by his father’s swordsmen and by his mom in the ways of the Bene Gesserit, he is the main protagonist of Dune.

Now let us talk about my favorite things in Dune. First, sandworms! I love them and will read anything about them. They are simply awesome. Discovering the relationship between the spice, the Fremen, and the worms was fascinating. For those of you that have read the series’ fourth installment, God Emperor of Dune, you know that the sandworms’ story takes a weird turn (which I adored). My favorite character in Dune is Lady Jessica. She is such a powerful force and complex character. While many of the men hold major positions of leadership in Dune, it is the Bene Gesserit who pull the strings behind the scenes. Another aspect I love about Dune is how the most intense scenes play out within characters’ minds, rather than in physical battles. These scenes include Lady Jessica and Paul consuming the Water of Life, Paul facing the gom jabbar and Paul’s ability to see across time and space after becoming the Kwisatz Haderach. Having so much of the action take place within characters minds instead of in external fights makes Dune unique from other science fiction epics. The environmentalist themes in Dune are arguably more relevant today than when the book was published.  The Fremen’s efforts led by Stilgar to change the climate of Arrakis, by bringing more vegetation and water to the planet’s surface, was exciting. I wonder if our scientists will be making similar efforts in the future as the effects of climate change worsen.

My initial thought was to rate Dune five stars. But upon rereading I have three major critiques with the book. The first problem is uneven pacing. The last fifty pages of the book feel extremely rushed. Especially the sections where the Fremen defeat the Harkonnen and Sardaukar forces and the duel between Paul and Feyd-Rautha. I felt like Frank Herbert got tired of writing and wanted to wrap up the story as quickly as possible. My second criticism is Frank Herbert commits one of my biggest literary pet peeves. I detest when a major conflict between characters boils down to a misunderstanding that could be solved with one conversation. The conflict between Halleck and Jessica is exactly this. By the end of the book most characters are aware that Yueh, not Lady Jessica, was responsible for the betrayal of Duke Leto. Yet somehow Halleck remains unaware and seeks revenge on Jessica for something she did not do. I find it difficult to believe that upon reuniting with Halleck no one filled him in on Yueh’s actions. My last critique is the biggest. The Baron Harkonnen is a harmful gay stereotype. Frank Herbert decided to make his primary antagonist a gay pedophile. This is a dangerous stereotype that needs to be squashed. I really (really!) hope that the Baron’s character is rewritten for the new film. His character can be given new quirks and personality traits without impacting the story. Now let us be clear, I love this book. But because of these critiques I decided to give the book 4.5 stars.

Dune is one my favorite books and I am hoping the new film creates new fans of the series. I managed to make it about halfway through the Dune books written by Frank Herbert (I hear the ones written by his son are not worth the read, is this true for anyone who has read them?). After this reread, I would like to make a go at reading the series again. I am super stoked to watch the movie later this month. Please check out my musing “What am I Hoping to See in the New Dune Film?”

four-half-stars